So I had a very refreshing emotional breakdown after my weigh in today :) for the second week in a row I gained weight. Since July I have only lost 2 lbs.
I need to lose 30 lbs by January 7th to meet my goal of 100lbs in a year. Although I know in my Heart it’s how I feel that matters, my mind is telling me that the only thing that matters are the numbers.
I am constantly comparing myself to other woman’s journeys and before and after pictures. That their 70lb weightloss is better and more noticeable than mine. I can’t mentally handle that anymore.
I need to, for myself, step away from the scale for at least 1 month, and step away from tumblr as well. I cannot log in, and compare myself anymore and Feel like a failure when I don’t look like all the fit and healthy woman on my dash.
I have to stop comparing my weightloss to my boyfriends. There has been no one that supports me like he does, we started this together, and although I am proud of him, it kills me to know how much more he has lost than me. I have to ask him to not tell me his weekly weightloss, as selfish as that sounds I need to do it for myself.
I will only keep track of how far I can run, and the weights that I am lifting. I need to start new.
I hope to come back in the next month and see all of you right where I left you. Wish me luck.